When I decided to buy my condo, I imagined that I would have people over and that my friends would stop by. Getting my own place was the first step into what I had assumed would be an active social life. I would have people come over, and we could have drinks on the patio. But alas, life has a way of putting the truth into your face. What I imagined is different from what happened. This started me on the path of figuring out who I am.
One thing I noticed right away was how lonely it is living on my own. I would invite my friends, but none of them were available. I know that they have lives of their own, and issues would come up. Meeting up with friends started having bigger gaps in between. Before I knew it, we were all on different paths. I felt like I was grasping at straws, trying to hold on. However, the signs were there.
Coming to terms with this was not an overnight thing. I also had life hit me in the face. My aunt passed away, and it left a hole in my life. By the time I realized how deep in grief I was, most of the year had passed. Her passing showed me just how alone I was. I want to clarify something. I still had people there for me, checking on and encouraging me. My mind was not allowing it to sink in. There were people I could call; I even had a therapist. Nothing stopped the feeling of loneliness.
Things started to change. I got my dog Mocha, so I had some companionship. I got a part-time job, so I could get out, which allowed me to meet more people. This year, I am volunteering at several events so that I can get out. This time has allowed me to put myself first and do the things that I want to do. I have plenty of plans for the future, some of which I will be doing on my own.
Adorkable Musings 
Leave a comment