Adorkable Musings

Does anyone else have a to-do list that is a mile long?  Having both depression and anxiety has made it that things that need to get done sometimes take a back seat. The living room needs to be cleaned? I will stay in my room.  Do I need to do laundry?  I still have a lot of clean clothes.  Need to overall clean.  NAP TIME!  After a while, I come out of my head and go, “I need to work on this.”  Then I frantically clean until my body gives out or I finally get distracted.  Coming from a family who can clean a whole house in a day can be very frustrating.  For both them and me. 

Growing up, it was typical for my mom to wake us up with music blasting through the house.  Oldies, or Dusties, as they are called in Chicago, would play through the house.  My brother and I knew it was time to get up and start cleaning our room or whatever our assignment was for the day.  I am still very awed by how quickly my mom would clean.  It’s almost like how much I annoy her with how slow I clean.  Certain areas are more manageable, but I need all the help for others.

In this case, I am talking about my room.  I tell everyone that the social areas of my home are perfectly fine.  Just please ignore the chaos that is in my room.  I have never been good at making my bed when I get up.  So, unless there are fresh sheets on there, it’s not done.  I have books everywhere.  This is an ongoing issue.  Books are my drug of choice.  Lol.  When I was younger, the thrift store was my go-to.  I would go on days when paperbacks would cost twenty-five cents.  Over time, this became a lot.  When I was younger, the fear of getting rid of my books made me ensure my room was clean, at least by my mom’s standards. 

Now, however, besides my dog Mocha, I live alone.  Now, I must stay on top of things.  It’s a constant fight with my mind.  The best feeling is when I look back and say, “I got a lot done.”  Then, of course, there is always something else on the list to do that I forget or put off.  IE, getting my car registered. That is a discussion for another time.